Pastel's diary. A changelings experience being a teen actress.

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Pastel Pastiche
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Pastel's diary. A changelings experience being a teen actress.

Post by Pastel Pastiche » 8/8/18 02:08 PM

Entry 1
Under the assumption that this 'diary' will be kept confidential, I, Caterpillar, will use it to record my findings as a changling observing ponies. Fortunately my identity had a habit of using her own diary but apparently kept it hidden. This should be cover enough for me to record my findings.

After witnessing 'Pastel Pastiche' perished to reasons I will cover later, I quickly took her form to avoid being identified and dismiss any concerns. True I knew nothing about this pony and I was still in training from my hive I felt it was a chance to prove myself.... And I also felt guilty.

I will retain this form for now and see what I can learn about her so that I may assume a more accurate representation of her. Her parents are very accommodating and nice, though a bit stupid. I was able to discover that Pastel attends some college classes still an also works part time as an 'actress'. I will have to look up what kind of a job that is because it makes no sense at all to me why such a thing exists. I will update soon.

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Pastel Pastiche
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Re: Pastel's diary. A changelings experience being a teen actress.

Post by Pastel Pastiche » 8/8/18 02:33 PM

Entry 2
Ponies are so confusing. I know I had been told this before but adolescent ponies are even worse. They are in adult bodies with vary levels of maturity. I have had to make corrections to Pastel's personality and mannerisms on the fly constantly while attending her classes, but ponies keep starring at me in strange ways. Did I get her cutiemark wrong?

I also became enlightened to what acting was. A mere imitation of what we changelings try to do, only instead it is for entertainment, oddly. I also learned that Pastel was not considered very good at it. It turns out I am 'very' good at it. Of course I was. They were all amateurs.

I ran into a few 'friends' of Pastel and I never once before have had so much a struggle trying to keep up with so many emotions and chatter in such a short time. I did however get a small morsel of love from some of the colts and even some fillies when they interacted with me. This might be a good temporary solution for my food source when Pastel's parents are not sufficient for a days worth. This will require further study.

Lastly, I had great trouble finding where Pastel worked. I was able to get some help finding the place but I ended up being late. The pony in charge commented that were it not for my 'looks' I would have been fired. Peculiar. Is this pony considered to be very pretty? I had not even attempted to imitate makeup and such that I had seen on other mares. I will give this a try next time and see if perhaps it helps.

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Pastel Pastiche
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Re: Pastel's diary. A changelings experience being a teen actress.

Post by Pastel Pastiche » 8/8/18 03:13 PM

Entry 3
Diary. Today was a very crazy day. My use of makeup was a resounding success. At first I was afraid I did something horribly wrong but I was reassured by a 'friend' that the stares were compliments. I felt even more love when talking to some ponies. I began to notice a pattern with how some of the mares interact with stallions and the like and decided to employ these tactics and poses. The results were immediate and I have to admit, it was rather 'fun'.

However I soon learned there was a double edge to this. A lot of ponies, mostly colts, really began showing an interest in me. At first it was a nice steady stream of love but it was making it hard to concentrate on other tasks but, well, it turned out I was liking it more than just because it fed me with love. I think I began to feel something, like some strange flutter inside me, like i pegasus was flying around in my belly. It got harder to stay on task and I kept finding myself glancing toward a certain colt. He was...adequate. :)

I need to be careful about keeping my head level and thoughts clear. Getting love seems almost easy, but its a slippery slope. As much as I have to gain, I can't help but feel a little guilty, thinking about the pony that I am imitating. She has such good friends and parent and I can't help but feel like I can't do her justice. I don't think I was ready for this. I will update more on my next major finding. Mother mentioned something about 'heat' coming up. I don't remember the weather forecast showing any warmer than usual weather.

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Pastel Pastiche
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Re: Pastel's diary. A changelings experience being a teen actress.

Post by Pastel Pastiche » 8/8/18 03:52 PM

(The next entry appears to be written more hastily, if not erratically)

Entry4
This is hell! You have got to be joking! No way I am going to school! With all those colts there! I don't know what I would do What I wouldn't do! I'm so hungry and want to hump everything! Mom said I need to take a cold shower if it was bothering me as much as my first time. First time!? IT HAPPENS MORE THAN ONCE?


---


I have managed to calm my body down a lot but it still isn't going away entirely. I really wasn't ready for this. At the same time though I didn't want to give up. I feel like a part of me is taking pride in being Pastel. Not just in a sense of imitating her, but...just in how I express myself through her. Like I'm taking a part of her and myself and making something new and I can't let it go. I thought a lot about it in the cold shower, about how I hate and yet like being her. Maybe I should stop trying to read into it so much. I don't know. I have never been so emotionally conflicted in my life. I should just focus on enjoying it and staying true to this 'new Pastel'. Maybe. I don't know. We will see. Thanks for being such a good outlet, diary. Hopefully the rest of the day I can manage to get a better grip on this 'heat' us girls go through. Wish me luck! ~<3

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Pastel Pastiche
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Re: Pastel's diary. A changelings experience being a teen actress.

Post by Pastel Pastiche » 8/8/18 04:14 PM

Entry 5
Dear Diary,
Its been a little while and I'm sorry to have neglected you. I have been managing a lot better lately now that I am not trying to be a precise 'copy' of Pastel but rather be something like her and myself at the same time. Actually, I am not entirely sure how much like her I am being in all honesty but whatever I am doing feel more natural now, and creating far less awkward jarring moments. I think I have started to find a balance between how much I can tease for love and not over do it as to cause a real problem, but it is hard as I find myself being tempted as well. I suppose this is natural for a pony, and much easier to understand and use since I know it goes both ways. I have even got a few colts and a mare to ask to date me! ~<3 They make such good meals with their love, its almost depressing turning them down in the end, but for a moment its fun to toy with the idea and get a bit more out of them. I'm not sure if I would ever 'really' date somepony. It seems like it could be trouble, but every time I get a little more curious.

Work has been going quite well. My boss has done a 180 and been applauding my skills AND looks. Adapting to different roles and being flexible has really opened up my options for what I can do as an actress. I will admit, however, that now that I have more an understanding of acting, I respect it far more. I may be a changeling but some of the best actors can really convey emotion and feelings that I feel like even I could pick up on, even if its just on a screen. I'm a bit envious of how emotion could be projected like that. Especially love. This is something I think I can do and do well. Maybe I'll be a real star one day.

I also met a rather cute guard the other day. He was quite helpful and accommodating, but despite all that, he managed to discover what I really was. For a moment I really was afraid. I was going to lose everything. All the things I went through to get to this point, the friends, family, Pastel...A part of me. But I was fortunate he didn't want to expose me. Rather he wanted to help me and just be sure I was on their hidden registry. I still am not sure how to feel about it, but I didn't want to lose everything and he was quite kind. My name is on a list now but I feel like I may not have to worry about that too much. He was cute anyway. ~<3

I don't know when the next time I will write Diary. I started writing in another diary but its not as special as this one. This one I can be me completely. The other is more day to day activities that if anyone ever took would not find any evidence of me being a changeling. It became a bit of a habit I suppose and I didn't feel comfortable carrying my biggest secret everywhere I went. Hopefully I will write back to you soon!

xoxoxo

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