Those DnD experiences

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WildLight
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Those DnD experiences

Post by WildLight » 5/21/18 09:54 PM

We've all had them. Rolled a 1 and stabbed yourself. And the other way, when you go looking for booze, roll a 20, and suddenly, you now have 2 bottles of booze in your hands.
Then the times where you'really in battle and you get the most bad as final shot to kill!
It's really hilarious and fun, so Here is the place I think it would be cool to share a few below ;3 From failures to success to all around weird nonsense, to dramatic madness! Please share!

-So I was playing a super short halfling wizard, ironically named stubbie. My group consisted of a sexually frustrated Tiefling woman rogue, a masked human who’s class I still don’t know, my alcoholic halfling, and a towering female Dragonborn who I kept trying to get piggy back rides from. The dm had sent us into a dungeon with a big bad undead necromancer king guy, and he was rolling out spells one after the next. We were already damaged, and We were all level 2 or 3 at the time, so everything was kinda Frantic and very stabby. After a few can trips I realized wern’t doing anything, I decided to get up close and personal? I plotted with the dragon born in our group, and we planned to have her straight up chuck me at the bad guy while I held a blade. Since he was only 40 pounds, she didn’t get disadvantage, but was going to have to roll well...
Critical 20 strength check.
So a dragon born chucks a half lung across the cave, halfling impales the guy who turns into bones, and the halfling falls comically to the floor. Not the best story, but imagine for some reason chucking a midget at a burglar x3
Last edited by WildLight on 5/27/18 02:29 AM, edited 1 time in total.

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King Thorax
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Re: Those DnD experiences

Post by King Thorax » 5/21/18 11:53 PM

(Sorry in advance, this is kinda a biggy. I uh, don't like leaving out details.)

Context: I am a Dragonborn Fighter, in a group with a Scottish Cleric who looks like a typical Monk (Don't ask,) a Tibaxi Rogue, a GOLIATH War Monk, a Wizard, and a 4 Foot Tall Bird who is a Chaotic Fighter (Think if Discord combined a Legendary Warrior Character, with a Chicken, and gave it a chicken brain.) We just waltzed into the sight of a new town- and already, it's under siege by Ships and strange Fish-People. We run in to help with the Farming Settlement under attack- 8 Fish Soldiers. 1 Siren. 1 Big Mother-F*cking Mini-Boss.

5 Minutes before the fight, the Cleric has to excuse himself due to stomach pain, and leaves the Discord Call. Our Healer had to leave, right before a big fight we didn't see coming.

The Chaotic Monk is our best fighter, and damage output. AC of 19 or so I believe. Deals Massive Damage. (Nat20)
Mini-Boss doesn't seem even phased. Basically Back-Hands our best fighter with a perfect hit.
War Monk goes charging in to save the Chicken.
Rogue plays Distraction. Manages to Dodge the little Guys- taking a few out. Mini-Boss does major Damage to him as well.
The Chicken literally got 1-hit-KO'd because he has low health to begin with.
Wizard is hiding behind a house, cuz we soon learned that he doesn't actually care about ANY of us.
War-Monk is getting Beat to hell. Surrounded without chance for escape.

Mini Boss takes about 32 Damage in this Time.
Rogue: So how is the Big Fish Guy looking?
DM: He looks pretty good. -is heard chuckling evilly a moment later-
Group: .... Welp. We're fucked.

I was busy clearing out the other 4 Fish-Guys on the other side of town- before I come Running in. Use my Special Ability to basically take 2 turns- I tell the DM this before I even roll Because It looks like I need to put some serious damage into this guy.

-Dice Roll-
I roll Nat 20 on my likely-hood of hitting him. Perfect Score, party Cheers my praise as this basically Doubles my damage with Critical Bonus. Rolled my D6, and Rerolled a bad 2 into a four. Rolled a 6 with the other Die. 20 Damage Straight away.
DM asks me to roll my Second turn.
-Dice Roll-

Me: -Starts laughing and nearly falls out of chair, almost kicking the table. Party assumes I screamed in peril-
Rogue: Damn, sounds like he rolled a Nat 1
DM: -is preparing for a Nat 1 on my roll-
Me: N-Nat 20!
Silence.
DM: .... Bullshit. Show me. -Looks at my Dice. Curses and growls-
I then rolled my D-6's again, and Doubled the Damage doing a massive 40+ Damage to the Mini-Boss, Saving the Party from Certain Destruction!

I then proceeded to Roll a Nat 1 right afterwards, when trying to kill the Siren who got away with the rest of the still breathing soldiers.
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Glass Arrow
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Re: Those DnD experiences

Post by Glass Arrow » 5/22/18 03:48 AM

Ho boy, this thread'll be fun. I'll add in my two cents.

Okay, so. This wasn't in D&D exactly, but it was in a very similar game no less. The situation; The group I was in was tasked with eliminating a camp of Bandits that was pretty much making life impossible for the region. Our group was varied, we had one guy in thick iron armor to soak in damage, a rogue for the sneaky stabs, a cleric in training for the sweet heals and then yours trully, a bird-lady with a blackpowder musket, for the long-range engagements and pickings.

So, we're going to engage the first line of tents. There's two Wolf-Men (Not werewolves, dog-people more like) standing at each side of the entrance to the perimeter, with swords and looking tough and whatnot. We decide to strike first and take advantage of the surprise attack bonus, and rolled for who goes first. I got the higher number, so I rolled again to determine how effective my bird's first shot would be.

Since my bird had specked into the stats that influence accuracy and critical damage, if she rolled anything above a 14, it would hurt. Like, a lot. If it hit, too, it'd have the surprise attack bonus, wich stacks with the potential critical damage. This while at level 2, mind you.

Then I rolled a natural 20, critical strike.

My bird took the first shot, and hit the wolfman right on the crotch. And somehow, the guy just exploded into a pulp of bones and meat. That alone thraumatized the guy standing besides him, our party, my bird, and the whole bandit camp, chaos and panic spreading like wildfire.

During the chaos, someone in the camp tipped a torch, and the whole thing just burned down in an hour. We didn't even had enough time to loot anything left, we didn't even got to see the bandit leader, who supposedly died in the fire.

So that's how we won a mission with one shot.

We only earned Exp and a few scraps of burnt cloth and a sword or two, that our Rogue pillaged. We didn't got a bit of Gold from our contractor since we couldn't confirm that the bandit leader was dead and we couldn't loot the exploded bandit, but we still got the consolation price because the camp was no longer there. The consolation price being some bandages and a few shots for my bird's gun.

Good times.
"Ssscreeeeeee!"

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Slingshot
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Re: Those DnD experiences

Post by Slingshot » 5/22/18 02:32 PM

Not as much a funny moment, as much as a funny thing in general.

I'm in a game currently, where i decided i'd want to be a terrifying orc, going for that sweet Intimidation. Apparently with the perks i've pciked out for this, it has also made me the most diplomatic, and all in all charismatic in the party, only topped by our Bard's "Bardic Performance"

It's pretty funny, when the terrifying orc makes friends with the head of the town guard, who pretty much despises orcs.
Bork Bork!

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Zerathur Naszberuk
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Location: "Sometimes in the Crystal Empire, sometimes in Ponyville... It's... Season dependent."

Re: Those DnD experiences

Post by Zerathur Naszberuk » 5/22/18 03:28 PM

While we were not able to continue the RPG for long, due to personal problems between the participants, we've had a great laugh when we noticed a problem in the system, that I, of course, exploited a bit.

My character, a human cleric among some random misfits, went to the store to buy some supplies, before the proper adventure could start, holding about 25 gold coins with him. With that, he bought enough food for a couple of weeks, rope, and the ridiculous amount of 500 tallow candles (Because they were 2 Coppers or something).

Throughout the campaign, or at least as long as it lasted, my character was known as "Give us a light", as his main job was to go around distributing candles to each party member whenever the GM started describing a dark place.
"The past is but the past. Nothing more, nothing less... We are to learn what we can from it, and then throw the useless bits away... So we can focus on what truly matters... That being, of course, the future we build in the present..." - Zerathur N., 2480-2513.

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Cynbel Ferode
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Re: Those DnD experiences

Post by Cynbel Ferode » 5/25/18 11:00 AM

So I was the DM for the very first campaign my friends and I played. It was a one-off, just to see if we liked playing DnD and if I liked being DM. Now, since we're (mostly) laid back people with minimal DnD experience, we decided to goof around. My friend has an Orc warrior character who *really* wants to be a chef. Carried around a big skillet as his weapon, too. Well, I was setting up this massive, angry Gnoll Chief who was one hell of a glutton. The party didn't think they were well equipped with fighting him, so our Orc decides to do the next best thing: cook him a meal.

So, using a goblin corpse he picked up from earlier, I had my Orc roll on how for aspects of the dish starting with preparing the ingredients, starting the fire, then actually cooking the goblin, and finally: the plating and garnish.

Orc got average rolls on all but the plating and garnish. He got a 20 with the most beautiful plating the realms have ever seen, making my big, bad Gnoll weep like a grown man who found out Teen Titans Go was happening.

Not the funniest thing now, but it was hilarious when we were playing.
"Stop pestering me."

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Shank
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Re: Those DnD experiences

Post by Shank » 5/26/18 01:20 AM

Good lord, photo from my old AD&D group. I’m second on the right.
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Green Leaf
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Re: Those DnD experiences

Post by Green Leaf » 5/28/18 04:37 PM

Alright seeing as how my forum posts are low here I might as well throw in my two bits.

I'm part of a campaign with a Wizard, a Barbarian, a Tiefling Rogue and myself as a Dragonborn Paladin (races excluded for the first two because I honestly forget what their race is, I wanna say human). We were exploring a dungeon trying to restore clean water to a nearby village. We manage to get down into a very open cavern where we believe the source of what is polluting the water is. Out comes a very tall Water Elemental. After a few turns of us thrashing it and it thrashing us, it manages to capture the barbarian and is drowning him. Now whether our train of thought was on autopilot or something, I'm not sure, but our wizard decides to do what we call Emperor Palpatine voice:"Unlimited Power!" More commonly known as Witch Bolt. Here's where things go wrong.

The cavern has a shallow layer of water.

While it didn't kill the elemental, it still produced several angry characters and a fit of sighs and laughter over Discord.
Tinkerer, universal traveler, good friend

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David T.
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Re: Those DnD experiences

Post by David T. » 6/8/18 04:03 PM

As of now, I am a DM to my own campaign and a player in one of my friends campaigns. I'd say I'm pretty good at both. However, it was not always like that. 2-3 years ago I had my very first DND group that wasn't just my family. Amazingly I still have my character sheet from then. He is a dragonborn fighter. At this point I'm not that good of a DnD player, so memories are a bit iffy. Well the group ends up heading to a town and we run into a bunch of cultists. The battle goes on and we are doing ok for level 1. Until one of my turns, that is.

I'm at low health, to low for even a level 1. my turn comes, and i gofor the swing. while it was not a Nat 1, i did not hit. next up is the cultists turn. He looks at me and swings. That's more than enough to KO me. So I'm down. A few turns pass and I wake up with the help of Death Saving Throws. So i get up, and the cultist is still there. Getting up took my turn and so he went again and downed me again.

So it's my second time down. This time, my friend, a sorceress, casts a spell and heals me a little. My next turn comes around, the guy next to me is dead, and i see another one. So i run to them, but that takes my entire turn and i didnt even reach him. He uses his turn to get to me, like RIGHT NEXT TO ME, but cant attack. Now remember my sorceress friend? Well, They decide to cast firebolt at one of the two remaining cultists, the one right next to me.

She rolls to hit, and rolls a NAT 1! not only does she miss, but she instead hits me and i go down again.

That session i was known as DnD jesus because i refused to die.
"Please, don't ask..."

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WildLight
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Re: Those DnD experienc

Post by WildLight » 6/14/18 11:58 PM

God this is all so beautiful... so much better than I could have hoped.
Not as funny, but I’ll add it here, I was DMing for the first time a couple nights ago with a pick up game with some guys who didn’t know anything about the game. One of the guys, throughout the entire time, kept trying to kill himself. Jokingly. Not actually ending up doin,g it. Then when we reached a hospice we needed to break into, he said, ‘hey, I want to catch myself on fire as a distraction’... then backed out of it, but I told him he had already said he was going to do it.... Well, He ended up catching on fire and ‘died’, because he rolled so well to catch on fire. So they ended up having an excuse to enter the hospice x)

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