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Cloudy Heart

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Age:
19
Gender:
Female
Species:
Unicorn Pony
Cutie Mark:
Raincloud
Location:
Canterlot
Occupation:
Bureaucrat
Sexuality:
Ask Me
Content Rating:
Ask Me
Commissions:
Unavailable
Character Image:
https://everafter.online/wall_uploads/1993_1533055236.png
Description:
"Sometimes it takes a heartbreak to shake us awake & help us see we are worth so much more than we're settling for."
Misc Information:
Where do I take this pain of mine
I run but it stays right by my side

So tear me open and pour me out
There's things inside that scream and shout
And the pain still hates me
So hold me until it sleeps

Just like the curse
Just like the stray
You feed it once and now it stays
Now it stays

So tear me open but beware
There's things inside without a care
And the dirt still stains me
So wash me until I'm clean

So tell me why you've chosen me
Don't want your grip
Don't want your greed
Don't want it

I'll tear me open, make you gone
No more can you hurt anyone
And the fear still shakes me
So hold me, until it sleeps

I'll tear me open, make you gone
No longer will you hurt anyone
And the hate still shapes me
So hold me, until it sleeps
History and Details:
<p>What's agitating about solitude is the inner voice telling you that you should be mated to somebody, that solitude is a mistake. The inner voice doesn't care about who you find. It just keeps pestering you, tormenting you, with those cloest first, then ponies next door, and finally anypony who might be pleased to see you now and then at the dinner table and in bed on occasion. You look up from reading the newspaper and realize that no one loves you, and no one burns for you.</p>
<p>Perfect doesn't exist for ponies like me. Passable. That's what I want. Just simply passable. If I could have a passable existence, I think I'd be very grateful.&nbsp;When we have waited a long time for what we really want, we become temped to fill the emptiness with unworthy substiutes. I used to think that was a bad thing, but life isn't allways willing to oblige, and what we hold as unworthy... maybe it is worthy. Maybe our egos get in the way of accepting that not all of us lead extaordinary lives.</p>
<p>Maybe it's enough to just be, to just exist.&nbsp;Things don't have purposes, as if the universe were a machine, where every part has a useful function. What's the function of a galaxy? I don't know if our life has a purpose and I don't see that it matters. What does matter is that we're a part. Like a thread in a cloth or a grass-blade in a field. It is and we are. What we do is like wind blowing on the grass.</p>
<p>Ponies keep telling me to change my life, to BE happy, to make the world make me happy.&nbsp;We're in the world, not against it. It doesn't work to try to stand&nbsp;outside things and run them, that way. It just doesn't work, it goes against life. There is a way but you have to follow it. The world is, no matter how we think it ought to be. You have to be with it. You have to let it be. I've learned to let it be, no matter how sad it is. I take some joy in my sadness.</p>
<p>I work in an office in Canterlot Castle. I move papers from place to place. I read the adventuers and doings of others, never doing myself. I am the gray pony in the background of your story. I am nothing and nopony. But I have life, a job, food, a place to rest when I am weary. I have learned to be content with it.</p>
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Background Opacity:
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User statistics

Joined:
7/31/18 11:29 AM
Last active:
3/12/19 09:56 AM
Total posts:
9 | Search user’s posts
(0.16% of all posts / 0.03 posts per day)
Most active forum:
Blogs and Asks
(9 Posts / 100.00% of user’s posts)
Most active topic:
Banality
(9 Posts / 100.00% of user’s posts)